Dance Vulnerability
Baychata in San Jose - July 12th - 14th - was incredible. There were so many great artists and super kind people! The workshops were top notch, the pool parties super fun and the social dancing at night was really great. As always, I had some not great/not connected dances but then some dances that were really lovely and peaceful and connected. 15 hours of dance over a Friday and Saturday… it was a blast (and man did I sleep well when I got back home!)
I have had two private lessons with one of my friends here in LA. He has taken lessons with the best of the best artists and recently finished the Bachata Sensual teacher training with Korke and Judith when they were in Houston. My friend is super clear, analytical and a really great dancer and is able to help so much with my posture, form and technique. As I have mentioned before, I have had to go back to the basics and re-learn how to do some things properly. For example, headrolls and how it really doesn’t have to do with rolling your head AT ALL. Instead, it is using your upper torso and expanding and collapsing - basically using your chest - to perform the movement and the head is just a consequence of the move. It requires isolation, abdominal engagement, relaxing, trusting and staying over my axis all while staying receptive to the lead and his cues. It is so much more than the fake headwalls I have been doing for the last few years! Mine are going to look top notch soon! =)
The friend who I am taking the privates with asked what I thought of the Baychata festival. When I told him I had some really nice dances, he asked me how the good dances felt. It was the first time I have been asked that question. I explained that two dances specifically were very “cloud-like”. When I experience the utilization of boleros (breathing up as a prep for the next move) and gentle, clear cues, I trust the lead and am able to relax. When this happens, I relax into the following and the tension washes away. The result is a really connected dance that involves trust, smoothness and a feeling of being taken care of. It is a magical feeling!
One of my “action items” from my most recent private lesson was to wait. Wait to feel the lead, don’t anticipate or feel the need to match the exact movement at the exact time (this sometimes results in misreading the cue anyways). Relax. Be ok with feeling the lead and then following. When you can trust the lead and relax, this waiting becomes a beautiful invitation and response. When my friend recommended this, it was a new concept to me. When trying it out, it made me feel so much more at peace vs “I need to know exactly what he wants me to do right when he cues me and if not, I am not a good dancer”. It is the pressure we all put on ourselves to be perfect. It is ok to wait, to respond, to trust. This is a true in life as well.
My friend said at times he has been dancing with follows and they will say they are sorry if they misread a cue. He used the analogy of having a verbal conversation. If he says something to someone else and they don’t understand, there is no need to say they are sorry. They simply did not understand what he was trying to communicate. The same thing is true in dance, there is no need to feel bashful or embarrassed if a cue gets misread or if I don’t understand what a lead is asking me to do, its not a big deal. It really gave me something to think about because while I don’t say I am sorry when I don’t understand a move on the dance floor, I do at times get REALLY self-conscience and think, oh, if I was a better dancer, I would be able to understand what the lead is asking.
Between the “waiting” advice and the conversation about “dancing conversations”, I got a glimpse into my future dance self. My goal is to be able to dance well enough that I can relax, feel peace, and truly enjoy each dance. It is not the glitz, the glam, the “Look at me, I am such a great dancer” goal that some may have. My goal is peace and experiencing more cloud-like dances, where my nervous system is calm, my breathing is meditative and the dance is super connected.
