A, to C, then finally to B

The title explains the process of figuring out my visa for Spain. I am applying for a non-lucrative visa, which will allow me to be in Spain for up to a year. This makes the most sense for me since I don’t have a remote job that allows me to travel and it is important for me to spend a good part of next year abroad since I will be in-between jobs. It is rare to have this opportunity, I might as well take advantage of it!

I have been taking a few body movement classes in LA at DancerU but have gone down the path of weekly privates to elevate my following skills. Last week I had a massive break-through and I am excited to see if what I learned can be implemented on the dance floor. I tend to hold a lot of tension in my arms, wrists, and hands, which makes it harder to understand a leads cues. And I often “guess” where a move is going vs just following. Following should be so EASY, right? It is literally JUST FOLLOWING!! But damn! I am having to rewire my brain! I don’t know why it is so darn tricky to just trust the lead and be patient and follow! What does this say about me from a psychology standpoint? They say dancing is like therapy and you can learn so much about yourself… does this mean that I have a hard time trusting?? And not being in charge and letting someone else make the decisions for the dance??? Er, life??? Is this why I am still single??? Lol! In reality, on Monday I experienced what it felt like to follow, be patient, and with the appropriate arm tension, it was SO much clearer on the signals! It felt HEAVENLY… so relaxing, so beautiful, so taken-care of, so perfect. I thank my friend and teacher from the bottom of my heart for helping me understand what the dance is suppose to feel like!

I am back to being in love with bachata. There is a joke that dancers fall in love multiple times a night, every time we have a good dance. I think I can appreciate this sentiment now! I want to fall in love every song I dance, to be taken on a beautifully choreographed journey where I can simply relax and enjoy. Maybe if follows fall in love multiple times a night in LA, when dancing in Spain it will be x 100? Here’s to hoping!

After the Fun

August was the highlight of my year, but September was rough. I caught a gnarly cold towards the end of my travels which would NOT go away. I was so eager to jump right back into normal life - going to the gym 3/4 days a week, dancing ~3/nights per week - as soon as I got back to the US. This totally did not happen. I would be so fatigued after a workout and was reminded by my body that I needed to rest… for about three weeks. Ugh. Every time I’d feel a bit better, I would go back to the gym and then pay for it for the next few days. Finally, I decided to just rest. And of course, that is when I finally got better. Weird, huh?

Dancing and working out are the two things I love the most and the endorphins I feel when I do both. Both the dance community and my gym community provide a social outlet that makes me feel really good. Without any of this for a few weeks, I did not feel well. Sad, worrying about what is next, what direction am I headed in. I know that I want to make a career change but I just felt down and a little hopeless. Like all of the excitement of planning a big international adventure next year was gone and I found my inner critic asking - “You are really considering leaving your life in CA to live abroad by yourself? You are really considering quitting your job of 8 years that is more or less a great job (even though I am no longer passionate or excited for my days) to bleed through savings… without having an idea what you want to do when you get back? Who are you to take this risk, not knowing what is next? You are in your early 40’s… this is something to do in your 20’s or 30’s… not when you are 40+ and shouldn’t you focus instead on meeting a partner to do this life with so you don’t die alone?” It got really dark. Fear, fear, fear. Not to mention, trying to figure out the best visa to stay beyond 90 days since do I really want to give up my life/job here for only 90 days?????

I can’t say that I have fully found my sense of adventure again and am full-speed ahead. I still don’t know my timeline other than after Q1 of next year. But, the one thing I know for sure is this: I will have massive regrets if in 10 years I look back and stayed in my current job, doing the same thing even though I am bored because I was afraid of taking a risk. I know I will be able to find another job when I get back. I have a soft landing place in Ohio with Mom when I get home if I want to apply to jobs from there before having to pay rent again in CA. I KNOW that I will be ok. And what’s the worst thing that can happen? I explore Europe for a month or two, get homesick and come home? It would still be epic to take a few months off between jobs and do what I love - travel and take tons of dance lessons in Spain with the best of the best. And the best thing that can happen? It is really limitless! I could meet lifelong new friends and maybe the man of my dreams. Perhaps I get clarity on what I want the next chapter of my life to look like, maybe I am inspired to finally start my own business which is a life goal I have. Perhaps I have phenomenal adventures that serendipitously land me in a place where I feel content and happy with all aspects my life. There is NO downside. The logistics of making it happen - subleasing my place, etc - can all be worked out and I can’t let these details discourage me. Why not????

August Summary

Wowza’s, what a couple months! Bachaturo was more than incredible. It was by far my favorite festival from a dancing standpoint. There was a group of about 15 of us from LA and it was such a joyous, happy weekend. The dancers were all so welcoming and happy… I felt comfortable with all levels of dancers. My main goal for the festival was to spend time with friends and get to know people on a deeper level and to just have fun dancing, not let myself feel overly critical of my dancing ability. The festival was exactly what I wanted! Every night I was dancing until the sun came out and had walks back to the hotel with friends new and old. Everything about my time is Katowice was wonderful. Light, happy, perfect.

After the festival, I headed to Krakow for a night. I was surprised how beautiful, clean and green Poland was! Krakow was so pretty, I had the best soup of my life - the tradition Polish sour soup - in the square after a relaxing massage. It was the perfect way to spend a day before heading back to Spain.

Madrid was the best! As much as I didn’t necessarily “click” with Barcelona, I felt at home in Madrid. People were so much more welcoming. After talking to some people, even though Madrid’s population is about twice the size of BCN, it is more spread out so it is less concentrated. It feels smaller than BCN and felt really nice! It was epically hot but I did as much exploring as possible. I stayed near Park Retiro, spent time with friends who were also in Madrid and did a ladies styling lesson followed by a social at Jowke.

It was so crazy how even though I was gone for two weeks, it felt so much longer. Normally vacations go so fast but for whatever reason, this trip felt long in the best way. I was able to completely disconnect from the “real world” and recharge mentally and emotionally. I was tired and sick coming back to the US but it was a phenomenal vacation.

To Katowice I go

Ugh, the late nights got to me and I have been a bit under the weather. The last two nights I slept 10 hours… my body is definitely giving me a scolding and reminding me that - 1) I can’t push myself to exhaustion without paying the price; and 2) When I go with the flow and are super social, it leaves me feeling totally drained. I ended up not going to the bachata dance place on Wednesday night and instead, checked into a nice hotel in an upscale part of Barcelona to take care of myself, recover and get ready for the festival.

My time here in BCN has been interesting. The city itself is stunning - Park Guell, Sagrada Familia, Palau de la Music, all of Gaudi’s work that pops up around so many corners - and the architecture is gorgeous. The small but ornate balconies, the emphasis on green space within the city… even the spray paint art adds a colorfulness to the city. Couples openly kiss and it seems that love is everywhere. It is really special. However, there is something lacking here to me. Maybe it is my headspace, maybe because there are so many tourists that I don’t feel as much warmth from the locals as I normally do when I travel. I can’t quite put my finger on it what it could be. I thought I would love BCN SO much and honestly consider moving here. But now I am not so sure. I think it will take another visit when it is not prime-tourist season. Many locals holiday in August so a lot of the smaller shops are closed for the month. My conclusion is that while it has been great to explore the city, it would require me coming back for another visit to really assess if I could see myself spending 3-6 months here as a fully remote worker.

My flight is to Poland in the morning which will be the second chapter of my journey. I am excited to see more friends and dance more and hopefully learn a lot at the workshops. Yay!

Weeeeee!!!

And I am down the rabbit hole of vacationing, dancing and staying out way past my US bedtime.

Last night was so fun… and so intimidating. I had some good dances but also was feeling shy. There were so many amazing dancers, both leads and follows. I had to keep reminding myself - even today - that this is the epicenter of Bachata Sensual so it is to be expected that dancers are on a whole other level. What a cool experience though to be able to have some good dances and have a great night. Next fun bachata event is Wednesday, my rust is off and I can’t wait.

Checked out Park Guell and a Flamenco show tonight at Palau de la Musica. Both exceeded my expectations. On the walk home, the sky was so beautiful, there was a violin player by the cathedral and I ended up on a pub crawl with one of my friends from the states. What was meant to be an early night ended up another dance night. Oops!

This same friend and I had espresso today and had an interesting conversation about extroversion vs introversion. He described an extrovert as a person who interrupts when you are speaking and immediately turns the conversation to themselves. In contrast, an introvert wants to hear the whole story and will also remember what you said in the future. In his opinion, the extrovert doesn’t remember because they are more interested in sharing their own story. We both shared how we feel exhausted when talking to these kind of people who are focused only on themselves because when they “steal the show” and don’t let us finish, it is work to finish our conversation after they have just talked about themselves for 10 minutes. I feel this too. In fact, there have been times where I realized it is not worth the effort to try and finish what I was saying and I will just let things be. This ultimately leaves me feeling unheard and short-changed but this is the difference between the friends I feel truly connected with vs not. My besties listen, stay on topic and let me finish what I have to say. It is the most freeing experience in the world when I feel truly listened to. I spent 2+ years in a relationship with someone who interrupted me constantly to talk about themselves, and at the end of the relationship, I felt so exhausted and like I had given up who I was since it was too much work to constantly be trying to finish what I said or what I wanted to express.

Whether this is a differentiating fact about extroverts vs introverts, all I know is that in a world where everyone is hustling and bustling, when you find someone who really listens and “gets” you, hold them close. It is rare. And special. And will make you feel like you can conquer the world vs. like you would be better off hiding from the world. Pay attention to how you feel in another person’s company. That shit matters. And if you don’t feel good, next!

Arrival

I’m here, I’m here! I landed last night at 5pm, taxi’ed to my Airbnb, napped and then met up with a friend and a few of her new friends she has met since being in Barcelona for the last few weeks. Tacos, a spicy margarita and POOF! It was 4am and Thank God, the last dance club we were at was a 4 min walk home.

Because we wanted to stay local, we went to a non-latin dance club named Machete. There was a sprinkle of salsa and bachata and for the last song/dance of the night, I was lucky enough to dance with a handsome man who actually knew how to dance salsa. A few differences between LA and Barcelona so far: men and women smile here! Everyone seems happy and open to meeting new people. The walls that people put up in LA aren’t present here. It’s wonderful. I met a new friend when ordering a drink, the bartender thought I asked for a non-alcoholic beer instead of Prosecco. (I NEED to learn Spanish!). I ordered a white wine instead and then somehow, my new friend and I played a little switcheroooo and I ended up with a Pina colada, she ended up with the wine, we shared a water and no one drank the non-alcoholic beer. New bestie and this funny exchange would not happen in LA simply bc everyone is afraid of germs and definitely don’t share drinks with a new friend at the bar (roofie concerns, anyone?). The night was a blast and I was drenched by the end… the Victorian on a Thursday night feels like Cryotherapy compared to dancing in BCN.

We are heading out to Sarau tonight. It about a 20 min Uber ride away and is suppose to be THE spot tonight. I am excited… and kind of nervous!! This is my first bachata event in Spain and all of my newbie-nerves when I first started dancing are out. It’s so silly, I don’t know anyone except my friend from the States and the two guys I met last night and NO ONE cares… but I guess this is just my funny nerves acting up. My goal is to get to be a better dancer by dancing with good leads and doing a ton of it. Sure hope what I learned during my privates pays off… in the way of feeling more confident and less awkward when dancing. Here I go!

Countdown: 6 days!

I am leaving for Spain in 6 days, I can’t wait. I am doing all of the normal prep things - laundry, outfit planning, making sure I have the right electrical plug converters, etc. I have also been doing a private bachata lesson every week… one more to go this Wednesday and then I am off to the land of sangria, daily dancing and living the good life!

I have been driving myself crazy trying to figure out what type of work I can do to live in Spain part-time. 90 days is fine with no visa but beyond that, a visa is required. So my plan of staying next year for 6 months will require me to get a little creative. There is also the Schengen “shuffle”, which is where you can stay in any of the Schengen countries for up to 90 days within a rolling 180 day period visa free. In a perfect world, I would do 90 days in Spain, 90 days in USA, 90 days in Spain, 90 days in USA… you get the gist. This then begs the question, what can I do to afford this flexibility, as most US fully-remote companies still require employees to be based in the US due to tax and Social Security laws for the majority of the year. Talking with friends, the most time allowed out of the US seems to be one month + use of vacation time, which would ultimately but 2 months max. This isn't the level of freedom and flexibility I am looking for at this point in my life.

Which means I need to start something on my own where I call all of the shots and can do remotely. Time to brainstorm over sangria. Perhaps this is the perfect time in my life to make a shift, truly figure out what it is I want to do and be ok with starting on a completely new life direction.

Dance Vulnerability

Baychata in San Jose - July 12th - 14th - was incredible. There were so many great artists and super kind people! The workshops were top notch, the pool parties super fun and the social dancing at night was really great. As always, I had some not great/not connected dances but then some dances that were really lovely and peaceful and connected. 15 hours of dance over a Friday and Saturday… it was a blast (and man did I sleep well when I got back home!)

I have had two private lessons with one of my friends here in LA. He has taken lessons with the best of the best artists and recently finished the Bachata Sensual teacher training with Korke and Judith when they were in Houston. My friend is super clear, analytical and a really great dancer and is able to help so much with my posture, form and technique. As I have mentioned before, I have had to go back to the basics and re-learn how to do some things properly. For example, headrolls and how it really doesn’t have to do with rolling your head AT ALL. Instead, it is using your upper torso and expanding and collapsing - basically using your chest - to perform the movement and the head is just a consequence of the move. It requires isolation, abdominal engagement, relaxing, trusting and staying over my axis all while staying receptive to the lead and his cues. It is so much more than the fake headwalls I have been doing for the last few years! Mine are going to look top notch soon! =)

The friend who I am taking the privates with asked what I thought of the Baychata festival. When I told him I had some really nice dances, he asked me how the good dances felt. It was the first time I have been asked that question. I explained that two dances specifically were very “cloud-like”. When I experience the utilization of boleros (breathing up as a prep for the next move) and gentle, clear cues, I trust the lead and am able to relax. When this happens, I relax into the following and the tension washes away. The result is a really connected dance that involves trust, smoothness and a feeling of being taken care of. It is a magical feeling!

One of my “action items” from my most recent private lesson was to wait. Wait to feel the lead, don’t anticipate or feel the need to match the exact movement at the exact time (this sometimes results in misreading the cue anyways). Relax. Be ok with feeling the lead and then following. When you can trust the lead and relax, this waiting becomes a beautiful invitation and response. When my friend recommended this, it was a new concept to me. When trying it out, it made me feel so much more at peace vs “I need to know exactly what he wants me to do right when he cues me and if not, I am not a good dancer”. It is the pressure we all put on ourselves to be perfect. It is ok to wait, to respond, to trust. This is a true in life as well.

My friend said at times he has been dancing with follows and they will say they are sorry if they misread a cue. He used the analogy of having a verbal conversation. If he says something to someone else and they don’t understand, there is no need to say they are sorry. They simply did not understand what he was trying to communicate. The same thing is true in dance, there is no need to feel bashful or embarrassed if a cue gets misread or if I don’t understand what a lead is asking me to do, its not a big deal. It really gave me something to think about because while I don’t say I am sorry when I don’t understand a move on the dance floor, I do at times get REALLY self-conscience and think, oh, if I was a better dancer, I would be able to understand what the lead is asking.

Between the “waiting” advice and the conversation about “dancing conversations”, I got a glimpse into my future dance self. My goal is to be able to dance well enough that I can relax, feel peace, and truly enjoy each dance. It is not the glitz, the glam, the “Look at me, I am such a great dancer” goal that some may have. My goal is peace and experiencing more cloud-like dances, where my nervous system is calm, my breathing is meditative and the dance is super connected.

Dogs and Energy Management

I am beat. Drained. Feeling like I am run down and need a day with tea in bed and naps. The name of the dancing game is Energy Management. Not really time management because one of the million things I like about dancing is you can head out whenever you want to social dance, it is completely unnecessary to show up at an exact time. Gotta love this when in the “real world” I am always over-scheduled and my days are planned out with too many obligations. Deep breath… and exhale.

Normally, I’ve got the energy management part of dancing down. I work out hard at the gym no more than 3x’s/week so I have energy for dancing. Since I am up at 6am to workout before work, I need an hour or two nap if I want to make it out dancing during the week. If I am meeting you at the Victorian, don’t call me from 6-8pm because I will be in a deep slumber recharging!

So why am I so drained? I came up with this amazing idea of dog walking through Rover and have started getting four-legged clients, yay! Why dog walking? I have this dream of moving to Spain for 3-6 months next year to train with some of the best bachata sensual dancers and for a fun life change. If I am going to stay that long, I want to have some form of income coming in and get this, Rover not only has a corporate headquarter in Barcelona but after I build up my profile with photos and reviews of the dogs I’ve walked in Santa Monica, I can simply change my profile address to where I am in Spain and start walking dogs there! Seems like a brilliant plan and having an established Rover profile will help me get started as soon as I get there. My goal is to give myself options. Maybe I work part-time in a coffee shop also? Or??? The wheels are turning but the more I can do now to help my chances of work when I get there, the better. Much more brainstorming on this topic to come.

Happiness

I feel happy. How often are you self-reflecting on the day and feel an inner peace, contentment and child-like happiness because life just feels good? Obviously life ebbs and flows, some days are good, others feel like it is just a necessity to make it to the end and sleep for a re-set. But moments of feeling pure happiness? It is the most beautiful feeling!

I had two group classes on Sunday - Bachata Level 3 and a Ladies Styling class. Both are very challenging, as I am going back to the drawing board a little and fixing a few issues in my dancing… namely making sure I am appropriately shifting my weight and increasing my sensativity and responsiveness to my leads. I am loving learning the technicalities because I know that it will dramatically help my dancing. It was laying in bed once I got home that it hit me on how happy I felt! It is the combination of several things. 1) I love dancing (duh) and the mental focus of learning new moves and body positioning makes my brain work. I love a challenge. 2) The teachers. They are so passionate about what they do and so encouraging. I live for the positive feedback AND the super direct corrections because I know they are really focused on helping me get better. 3) I love watching the final song dance at the end when the instructors incorporate what we learned over the season… because watching the beauty, connection and fluidity gives me the same chills as when I first saw the couple dance bachata in Grand Caymen. And, because it gives me something to work towards. 4) I adore the other students. I am not sure if all dance studios are like this, but I have found a home at my studio in a way I didn’t think possible when I first started lessons. <I’ll come back to this>. The other students all radiate warmth, everyone is smiling, trying hard to learn the moves, laughing when there are awkward moments of weird pelvic tucking, or head bumping or running into the couple beside you. It is all makes for the best time and the whole room is vibrating with kindness and happiness. It is really incredible!

Back to when I first started lessons post-Covid. I remember walking out of a class with the teacher/studio owner, totally high on endorphins and telling her I was going to talk to all of my friends and see if I could rally everyone to start taking dance lessons with me. She responded that would be great but told me I would also make lots of new friends. We were walking down the stairs from the studio where we had the lesson, and I really didn’t believe her. I thought she was probably just saying that and it would be like any other social activity in LA, yes, I would meet people but I would only see them every once in awhile (maybe) and after the series was over, that would be it. This could not have been further from the truth. People who fall in love with dance are a special, special breed of human. They don’t just maybe make plans to hang out and maybe you will see them occasionally. No, we dance all of the time, as much as we can outside of our 9-5’s and when you have the bug, you take more and more lessons. Often, you see the same faces multiple times a week and when you go out social dancing, almost all of the faces become familiar. You travel with these new friends, you share bandaids and hair ties with these friends, you share beds and hotel rooms at festivals and eat together, cry together, laugh together and develop a deep friendship that is rare as an adult. You meet some new people who may become your closest friends in life and you meet so many like-minded people. Many, like myself, have found dance when they wanted to find a way to live and express life in a more creative way than what is experienced in “normal” life, work, etc. It is magical. Dance is magical. The friendships and shared experiences are magical. Dance is Happiness.

Dancers love a good theme party!

Dancing My Booty Off

It has been so long since my last post!  I have been dancing my little booty off - I am going to Bachatura in Katowice Poland in August - and have been doing group lessons, a few private lessons, Saturday studio practices and social dancing to prepare.  In addition to the festival in Katowice, I am spending a week in Barcelona and a week in Madrid surrounding the festival with friends from LA.  I AM SO EXCITED!!!

There are so many aspects of dancing I am working on.  Weight transfers being one of them, so my body and weight are in the correct place so I can be more receptive to the leads.  I am also working on sensitivity to cues, and relaxing.  "Be like water" is what I tell myself over and over again to calm my mind and relax into the movements.

It is so crazy because when I started dancing, I would have a drink at the beginning of the night to loosen up.  Sometimes, if it was an uber fun night and other friends were getting a little rowdy with the tequila, I would have more than one... and then boogie!!!  Now, I normally don't even have one drink.  I have learned that it is hard for me to stay focused and form a good connection with my partner if I have a few drinks.  Why?  Well, #1.  The music is so good that I have to really keep myself from losing my mind when my favorite songs come on.  I get SO EXCITED!!!   Think teenage girl, jumping up and down screaming excited!  Not good for sensual dancing.  #2.  If you add in the sugar/alcohol when I don't consume much of either, I get so excited I can hardly settle myself down enough to relax and be receptive to the leads.  It's like when you are at an EDM concert and the beat drops and you lose your mind.  Dancing brings me so much joy that I really have to work on staying calm.  I've realized too much booze gets me too hyper and then I am probably dancing like a blind, adolescent road runner.

Last Thursday I went to the Victorian and had a blast.  I was calm, happy, receptive, stayed present with myself, focused on people's energy and reminded myself to flow like water.  I had the BEST time.  I was a little apprehensive about going to the V - it had been about a month and a half - because it draws the best dancers in LA and I still get intimidated.  Also, since I know the majority of the regulars through classes and being out social dancing for the better part of 2 years, I often dread having to interact with so many people (even though everyone is amazing!) and have to fight the urge to hide in my introverted shell instead.  I am so glad that I did go, and had some of my better dances in a while.  I even made it on Bachata Chronicles IG stories, lol!

Dance friends often say the nights they are on the fence about going out, usually end up being some of their favorite nights.  I wonder if this is because expectations are low so even one dance feels epic? Or is there something special about pushing through hesitations, insecurities or just being damn tired from the work week that leads to the "sparkle" nights?

After the Victorian on Thursday, I was overly social Friday/Sat/Sunday.  In addition to three dance lessons and studio practice, I was with amazing friends all hours of each day and by Sunday at 9pm I was craving no humans, no noise, no social media and just palo santo burning while drinking tea. It was time to peace out of all human connection and start the recharge process.

Dance Class!

Ladies Styling

I am traveling to Barcelona, Katowice Poland and Madrid in less than two months, yay!!  There is a massive bachata festival in Katowice and I am meeting up with friends from the dance community to dance my legs off!  I have a friend who will be in Barcelona and another who will be in Madrid, so I am super excited to explore the dance scenes there in addition to the festival.

I took two dance lessons this past week... one is a ladies styling class and the other was a bachata level two partner class.  Ladies styling is such a challenge for me!  I feel SO awkward!  As someone who doesn't like to have extra attention, I really shy away from it!  I know this is silly because styling elevates the dance and it is the biggest difference between the dance telling a beautiful story vs just taking steps and completing moves.  So why do I feel so darn awkward doing it???  

I have to continually remind myself on this dance journey to not get too self-judgy and be patient with the learning process.  I moved into a new apartment about a month ago and have my living room set up with mirrors for the sole purpose of practicing styling and dancing.  I am thinking with enough practice, I will eventually stop feeling like a fish out of water =)

Viva la Bachata, Malaga Spain 2023

Introverts - Who Are We?

Wouldn't you have to be an extrovert to fall in love with dancing?  To be around that many people where connection is key to having a good dance?  To continually sign up for and take dance classes to continue learning?  To attend festivals - across the US and internationally -  where it is common to travel as a group and even room with people who you don't even know their last name?

Would these scenarios make most introverts get stomach pains anticipating too much time spent with others?  Honestly, a little bit.  The purest definition of an introvert vs an extrovert is this:  An introvert needs solo time to recharge;  An extrovert recharges by being around people.

This is one reason I wanted to start this blog.  I hope I am not alone when sometimes I stress about getting enough time to myself to recharge when traveling with a large group.  I also sometimes worry that I will be perceived as being anti-social or cold if I disappear for a while or want to opt out of a group activity.  I genuinely love being around most people, but sometimes I really need a quiet reset so I can be my best self when around others for days, sometimes weeks, at a time.  When I started my dance journey, I very quickly met and started dating another new dancer who was VERY extroverted and found a lot of satisfaction being in the middle of all of the action... always.  The term FOMO was invented for people like him (Vs. my JOMO, Joy Of Missing Out).  This was hard on our relationship because he took my need to recharge personally vs understanding this was just ME and what I needed.  My point is, there are some people that just don't get it when people like myself need some quiet time to recharge before dancing for 6 more hours.  And I worry about this.

All of this being said, when you stick around long enough in the dance community, deeper relationships form.  People begin to realize we all have our own ways of interacting and acceptance happens.  Us introverts begin to feel understood and bond with the other amazing dancers, turned friends, turned forever besties.  Its all part of the journey,

Dancing in Silence

I purchased thedancingintrovert domain through GoDaddy and they asked if I wanted AI to assist in building a landing page as a temporary placeholder until I had an active website.  Sure, why not?  Let's see what they think an introverts dance blog page should look like.

How hard I laughed when I saw this!  "Dance in Comfortable Silence". Apparently AI believes that introverts like silence.  And AI also thinks its possible to dance bachata in silence.  Ok, I guess??  As I follow, I could get down with following an imaginary beat in my leads head for fun.  In fact, sometimes beginner leads struggle with musicality and it is certainly a more experienced dancer who knows bachata songs well enough to execute a spontaneous, beautifully choreographed dance.  But... music is what makes the dance so incredible!

The dancing high!  The rush of endorphins!  All of this is the result of a beautiful dance WITH music.  And when one of your favorite songs comes on and an experienced, soft lead takes you on a journey... its unlike anything you will ever experience.

So this will definitely not be my blogs homepage.  I like dancing WITH music way too much.  Now, what's up with dancing as an introvert?

Misconceptions

It is interesting because when most people meet me, they would never guess I consider myself an introvert.  There is a misconception that introverts are anti-social, always on the sidelines in social situations and are shy.  This couldn't be further from the truth for me.  I LOVE being around my friends and meeting new people.  One of the best things about the dance community is that wherever you are in the world, you will be welcomed with smiles when you go to any salsa or bachata dance event.  It's like this secret world where people of all ages get to go out and connect with others, forget about the real world and do it all with minimal alcohol and minimal conversation.  It is a beautiful and healthy hobby.  As an introvert, it is also a way to be social but not expend all of my energy that is normally used listening intently to other people.  

The reason that social activities can be draining for people like myself is that I like to go deep.  Meaning, I thrive on deep, meaningful conversations with people where I can begin to understand who they are and what they are all about.  When I am in a large group of people, thecasual, light pitter patter conversation can leave me feeling unfulfilled.  And I feel a little awkward.  Because I just want to get to the root of things which doesn't happen in light conversation. 

With dancing, there is no need for light convo... in fact, leads asking me to dance are the only words I often hear on a night out.  It is wonderful!  If there are new people I connect with, we can find another time to hang out and poof!  Back in my element of one-on-ones and deeper convos.  

Viva la Bachata, Malaga 2023

The Start of Something New

Hello!  Let me introduce myself!  My dancing name is Jele and I have been dancing bachata sensual for about 2 years.  I grew up in the midwest on a horse farm, so the fact I have fallen deeply in love with this latin sensual dance is not the norm. How did this happen? 

I was traveling with one of my best friends in the Cayman Islands about 5 years ago.  We made dinner reservations at a beautiful, oceanfront restaurant highly reviewed for their seafood but more importantly, that had a salsa lesson starting at 10pm, followed by social dancing.  Being very much a salsa-newbie at the time, I was stoked for an opportunity to dance while on vacation.  During social dancing after the lesson, there was this beautiful dancer who was wearing a bright teal dress dancing a kind of dance unfamiliar to me. Watching her and her partner completely drew me in.  Compared to salsa dancing, the dance was more sensual and unpredictable; the connection between the two of them seemed stronger than seeing a couple dance salsa; and there was a much greater variance in the slow vs fast movements, and it all seemed dependent upon the ebb and flow of the music.  I was hooked.  To top it off, the pure joy on the woman's face while she danced was mesmerizing.  When the song was over and she walked off the dance floor, I fought through the crowded patio deck to ask what kind of dancing that was… I HAD to know what this magical, passionate dance was.  I needed to find out how so much energy, passion and joy could be experienced in a short 3 minute song between two people who were clearly not together, but spoke the same special language expressed completely through body movements vs speaking!  Bachata, she said, with the warmest, happiest smile on her face.  

And that was how it all started.

Summer Sensual Days, Rovinj Croatia 2022